The Awkward Pretty Pear

I was approached by some ladies that are doing a documentary project for a class. I delightfully agreed. The ladies explained to me that they were doing the project over Society Beauty and What makes me feel beautiful? I was all for it because I thought, "Psh I got this in the bag". I knew that I wanted to criticize that society makes beautiful an ugly word. Beautiful is suppose to be composed of happiness and contentment but instead it is filled with hatefulness, greed and despise. A girl can't be beautiful and smart. A girl can't be herself and beautiful at the same time. Those things just CAN NOT and MUST NOT go together they say! Because being yourself is a lie in itself and you aren't who you are unless it consist of wanting to be more than you. Just simply you. 

They then asked me what I thought beautiful meant. I replied, "Beauty is an internal element, it is how you walk, talk, and portray yourself". Being beautiful is the moment when you realize, I am happy not because I should be but because I just am. Society tries to take grasp of our mind and tell us, 
"NO! If you don't destroy your body, slaughter you mind with the all the false conceptions of being yourself then your not good enough"
"Not good enough for me"

So in the midst of me writing this, I decided to look up the actual definition of Beautiful. 

The definition said,"possessing beauty, or aesthetically pleasing". 
The synonyms were, "pretty, lovely, handsome, good-looking, alluring, cute and attractive."
The antonyms were, "ugly, awkward, repulsive, ordinary, disgusting, and hideous"

As you can tell most of these descriptions were physical appearances. Why can't beautiful be BOLD, LOVING, STRONG, POWERFUL, SMART and CONFIDENT

Who proclaimed that being Beautiful is physical! I want to be awkward, and pretty AT THE SAME TIME! I don't want to have to choose which form I would like to be molded in! I want to shape my own AWKWARD, CONFIDENT, ORDINARY, BEAUTIFUL life on my own, without anyone telling to pick.
Forcing me to shop at the local market, making me decide from apples and oranges. 
When all I want to be is my own AWKWARD, PRETTY Pear.